Day 3 of my Renewal - To Buy or Not To Buy

Its been uneventful. Nothing to report, but I feel like I should chronical the experience.

Mike's sick with a tummy virus. Tyler was up screaming all night. I slept a little over 2 hours and I was cranky this morning.

But my To Do list is being cracked. I started on the basement. I gathered up 2 large garbage bags of old suits, silk dresses, coats, etc. for good will - or some other charity. I threw away about 3 feet of stacked magazines that Meredith and David S. had left for me. I packed away old baby toys for Linda's twins. I was a busy bee.

That was about an hour.

I confess. I sneaked in some Scrabble and Word Challenge, today, too.

Then I dragged Mike to Costco. And there :::blinggg::: I saw the Acer and HP minis. I LOVE them. So cute and compact - why, rather like myself, I'd say. And they were so cheap! My old laptop broke with out any warning. I was devastated since I had 4 really in-depth work documents due imminently, that I had to do over from scratch. But I also lost MP3s, photos, movies of the little guy, and who knows what else.

Back to the Minis. Love them! They were pretty lightweight. As luck would have it, on the next aisle was the Verizon girl. So I popped over there to ask about the wireless modem plan. Its $60/month. Ouch. Its not a fortune, but more than I'd wanted to spend, especially with that announcement of no raises or bonuses for TWO years.

So I'm doing some creative math in my head. If I cancel the NY Sports membership that I don't use, I can afford to buy the modem package for added sedentarianism (I made that word up, but sounds pretty high-falutin' doesn't it?). So I'm really, really considering it. Whats a little more jiggle to the wiggle?

I have to look up both models and see the + and minus'. Someone talk me out of it! --- or not. ;)

Blogger Discovery

I discovered a new feature available to Bloggers . Its these free backgrounds that make them look like scrapbooking pages. I could have searched them all night, but then I realized that I'd forget the ones I liked after looking at 50 pages, so I settled on one and went with it.

Of course, it comes with a permanent advertisement for the site, smack-dab on your page. I guess that's ok. That's how I found it anyway. I'm not one of those who won't carry a Louis Vitton bag because there are LVs all over it. I don't carry them, because I don't see spending that much money for a purse that I don't have the money to carry in it.

I love my new background. I'll try not to obnoxiously change it every other day.

There will be times like this...(a.k.a. the poop posting)

Overall, I love being a mom. I can have the worse day and his face just lights me up like a warm, cozy fire during a blizzard.

And then there is tonight. Tyler had his first bout of real constipation at 2 3/4 years old. It was the most heart wrenching thing to have sit by and watch. He screamed as if he was in such sharp pain. His entire little body arched. I watched him, leaning over the edge of the sofa, bent doubled, toes so raised that he was barely on the ground at all. He looked at me in terror, eyes wet, screaming, "mommmmmeeeee, I have booboo in my diaper!".

I was pained.

He looked over at his grandmother, pleadingly, "Nana! I haaaaave booooo booooo!" She looked pained. She offered to take the boo boo away so that he wouldn't feel it. I would have gladly.

The end result is, we had to go get him medicine and insert it. That wasn't fun. He didn't like it either. He was so sad, just laying on us between excruciating screaming. And, finally, he got relief.

I guess my lesson in all of this is that there will be more. This is the first of many times where he will be upset or hurt and we will not be able to take it away. It will rip at my heart and I will want to step into his skin, or into his head and take it away. But I will have to sit back and let the pain ride its way out of him. And each time, it will be sore.

Thats all part of what I signed up for.

Renewal - Day 1

I thought I'd blog about my Renewal experience. But if the rest of my days are like this one, it will be a snore of a read. Thank God that Thanksgiving is coming up, otherwise, I'm afraid that my rapidly spreading butt would be fused to the sofa.

Today I napped for 3 hours. No baby (he was in daycare). No guilt (I can do it tomorrow - clean, cook, email, rake... whatever).

Then I spent... oh.... the rest of the day on FaceBook. I think I played Word Challenge. I'm pretty sure I played Word Challenge. I played Scrabble. I didn't even get up to eat lunch.

Overall, Renewal is a wonderful thing. You get 4 weeks off and they encourage you to add at least one week more. You are not allowed to check email or voicemail. You are not to have contact with co-workers unless its just for fun. Its great. When this was announced, people did wonderful, soul enriching things like working as missionaries in Africa, build homes in Habitat for Humanities, help rebuild New Orleans.

Me? I plan to clean out my basement. I have a couple of side things planned like going to see Thomas the Tank Engine with my family. But, mostly, non-lofty plans. How lame.

But I'm ok with that. I think this time is for me to do what I want, and I'm going to do that.

:)

Grammaticalifragilistic Expialidotious!

For some reason, this year I've suddenly lost the ability to determine which words I use in what instances.

I'm not a complete dolt. I still get the your/you're, there/they're/their and pair/pare type of uses.

But suddenly - and its truly suddenly because I swear, I knew last month - I can't tell you if I'm 'lost' in the woods, at a 'loss' for words, or should I use 'lossed' - er... Is that even a word? Maybe. Maybe not. I have no clue anymore!

And to 'insure' my continued confusion, I was 'ensured' that this may be all a part of Mommy-brain. Great.

I know the definition of these words. And I'm fairly certain I know the context to use them. I friggin graduated at the to 5% of my class for Pete's sake. But as soon as I go to put fingers to keyboard, its gone. Gone like a Snickers bar left in front of a fat kid on the playground. :::Poof:::

Mommy-brain sucks. I don't have the energy to explain Mommy-brain for all of you who don't know. Maybe that's for another blog entry - could be, but I'll forget, I'm sure.

If Brunetta sees this, she'll say it's payback for relentlessly making fun of her when she told me to 'bare' right to get to her house.

SomeEcard... responses

Based on my last posts, Chris sent this to me. LOL
It cracked me up so I had to post it.

Pre-Renewal

I'm going on Renewal next week. This week I've been breaking out in hives. Renewal is 4 weeks of continuous paid vacation for working here for a long, long time. Its a perk, definitely. But the weeks leading up to it are stressful as anything.

I just spoke to someone in sales who went on renewal. She said, "what stress?"

She didn't have to set up staff to do her job while she was out. She must not have had to create documents and processes in place in order to go. She probably didn't have to constantly hear how her leaving was going to be such a hardship on everyone else (even if it wasn't true). She just turned off her voicemail, set up her out of office and left.

I have had hives for the past few days. I'm stressing about everything and the people at work aren't helping. They probably don't realize they're being unsupportive. Or maybe they're jealous that they aren't going - though I doubt it, they'll have their turn. Maybe its me. ?? Maybe I should just chuck whatever doesn't get done and not worry about it. Let the chips fall wherever they land.

It just sucks that I have to be this stressed out in order to have the bonus weeks off that everyone here is entitled to at this point in their jobs. And the thing that really sucks is that, from the people I've spoken to, they aren't. Maybe they just don't work in my department. lol.

Maybe I just need to go play Word Challenge and stop thinking about work so that I can stop these welts of hives that are erupting on my arm.

Linda is

When Alana showed me her 'wall' on FaceBook, I thought, "how strange that this guy speaks of himself in third person - what kind of weirdo does that?" Apparently, ALL the weirdos, since that's how their site works.

So, here is a list of things I'd like to post on MY wall, but thought... Hmmm, I'll really sound like a crazy person now- but just mentally add LOL after each. and to cover myself further, none are meant with any malicious intent:


Linda feels a little like a serial killer speaking in third person.

Linda doesn't get; L'il Blue Coves, Rainforest, pillowfights or pokes. (Or any of them, really).

Linda just burst a pimple in her earlobe that's been killing her.

Linda got her period.

Linda doesn't want to meet you for lunch/dinner/drinks/shopping because all she wants to do is catch up on sleep.

Linda doesn't get people recommending Friends when the recommender isn't friends with that person.

Linda doesn't have a clue who these people are who're requesting Friend(ship) but in the spirit - what the heck?

Linda feels a bit like an old lady playing on her kid's site.

Linda is checking status so much that the computer is now logging on all by itself.

Linda DOES use LOL too much. (This one may go up there for real).

Joined the Social Networking Wave

True, the wave has pretty much slowed to a swell (to continue the lame metaphor) but it took me years and a lot of resistance. Even when all those around me flocked, I kept blissfully ignorant of the inner workings. I didn't want anyone IN MySpace, nor did I want to be Twittered, nor my Face on any Book, and who needs one more Friend(ster)?

Well, I succombed. Alana came over and showed me the joys and perils of the social network experience, and I'm now horribly addicted. Much of this I can do anywhere else, but somehow, this crazy Facebook just pulls me in. Its hypnotic.

It started innocently enough. I wanted to FaceDouble* my husband because people always stop us to tell him what celebrity he looks like. (Well, more so before he shaved his head). And you had to join to FaceDouble. So I did. I FDed everyone I had photos of. From every angle.

Then it moved to checking notifications (and if you're not on, none of this means anything to you - count yourself lucky), creating and scanning Flairs, Word Challenge - oh the addiction of WC - yikes (WC may require its own blog entry). Now I'm going on every few hours to see if any of my Friends have put in their words in Scrabble.

Oh, look, I can FaceBook on my Blackberry. Great :::I say this dripping with sarcasm, but we both know, in my heart, I'm more like: GREAT!:::

I'm probably going to require an intervention to get me off.

*Note: since this original posting, I found out that you can just go to the FaceDouble site. Who knew.

Planning (a short story, of sorts)

Drew waited all weekend to go back to school. He subconsciously fiddled with his hoodie string, leaning over the curb every few seconds, anxiously waiting for the bus. As he got on, he replayed it again in his head. He knew exactly what he was going to do when he saw Julie.

He'd calculated, planned and rehearsed, anticipating every moment to counter anything she'd do. Other people got ready, Drew got tactical. That was what he was best at. Some called him neurotic and anal. That's just how he was.

Drew was never a spontaneous guy. Doing things on the fly was of no interest to him. He was methodical in everything he did, from making his bed to drawing a sketch. Precision and care were his watchwords.

It didn't bother him that kids in school snickered at his stiffly starched jeans or his clean, bright white sneakers. He didn't care that kids in class raised their eyebrows at his color coded notes. He actually never noticed that he was any more careful or thought things out any more than anyone else. But to be honest, he rarely noticed what anyone else thought of him.

He noticed Julie, though. Drew tried to pinpoint the exact moment - was it a movement that struck him? Was it something he heard in her voice? The sound of her laugh? Was it the tell-tale sign of trying not to make eye contact but looking back to see if he was looking at her?

Could have been all of these things. Could have been none. He noticed her, though, and made note of it. He wouldn't act until he was certain that he read all the signs correctly. He was not going to misstep. He was not going to make a fool of himself, either - not that pride would stand in his way of what he had to do. He was, as you know, calculated and precise.

Over the past weeks, he planned a carefully mapped out course for following her and watching her, he had to be sure. Reconnaissance, he called it. And if he was wrong, that's ok. Julie was easy on the eyes. There were worse things to do than spend days watching her, taking pictures of her. She had this quiet beauty about her that even she did not recognize. Which probably made her appealing to Drew, and unnoticed by everyone else. She hid in the background. She had a small group of friends, but she was still somewhat alone. They had much in common, people that mattered notice Drew, otherwise, he blended in with the walls - which was exactly how he wanted it.

Drew wasn't sure if he hoped he was right about her signals or not. If things went as planned, after this he would be different. This one action would change his life. You can't go back and get a do-over. The one thing you can't plan on is someone else's reaction. What's that boxing analogy? It would be a critical mistake if he bobbed when she was weaving. Either way, he needed to be certain before he approached her. After these weeks of shadowing her, he sure he was. Still, for the first time, he was nervous. He checked his palms and wiped the sweat on a handiwipe from his backpack. His own nervousness unnerved him.

But he pushed it back as the bus pulled in. He needed to have a clear head. He needed to assess how many other kids were around. He needed a clear path in, and possibly out. He needed to read her signs one last time before doing anything. He needed, most of all, to be sure.

He stepped off the bus and saw her by the football field. To the left, her friends were quickly walking away from the school, waving as they headed out toward the smoking area. The bell would ring in a few minutes so they didn't have much time. To the right, kids were greeting each other, filing into the school. Some nodded and waved to Drew.

Drew took all of it in. He wanted to remember this moment. Julie looked over at the kids all flowing into the school like ants heading to a fallen piece of candy. She casually pulled out her cell phone, uncharacteristically grinned slightly to herself. He watched her dark bangs fall forward and dip below her eyes, covering her face as she started to text. Drew knew he needed to act now or he'd lose the moment.

He ran toward her.

He ran at full speed, arms pumping, heart pounding. He rushed at her as if his life depended on it. Actually, everyone's life depended on it - everyone heading into the school, anyway. He crashed into the center of her body - full force. His right hand out, grabbing the cell phone, making sure to keep it open so that it wouldn't activate the code she'd inputted. His left hand moving around to press her arms down. He used his body to pin her as immobile as possible. He felt as if he was moving in slow motion, but it took only seconds to tackle and cuff her. He was precise, just as he was in his planning this case.